True Blue

Nothing lasts forever, except the idea that sometimes it can through photos and memory. If you look up true blue in the dictionary it is defined as ‘unwavering in one’s commitment, extremely loyal’ and genuine. It wasn’t until halfway through creating this project that my mum pointed this out as a reflection of my prints, not only does it summarise her devotion but it felt perfect for my own reflection of 10 Long Craig’s. 

Thinking and talking about the grief that goes alongside my grandad has taken me almost two years; if you look at first photos in this project, they were taken on the weekend of his funeral with as much of his belongings in place as possible. The last prints of the house were taken earlier this month when I managed to go back home, and for me the feeling that had lingered is the same. 

My idea of home was in symbiosis to him and the space that he surrounded. I grew up next door to my grandads house with countless after school hours, birthday parties and weekends spent with him and in his house. I’ve always struggled to remember my childhood in intricate details but grandads was an exception of this space. 

Each time I would go back to visit Scotland in the last two years I always had an idea that perhaps - like all grandparents - he would just live forever.  He would be waiting for me to come home. 

I took photos the weekend of my grandads passing, his untouched house, left how he lived and passed. I had signed up to a darkroom class for when I came back to London with the ideal of developing and printing these photos. I hadn’t loaded the roll of film into my camera correctly and the images never existed. Looking back to this in reflection of the project it has become it feels appropriate that those photos disappeared and opened up a different documentation the next time I was able to go home. 

This project has been a tactical progression of remembering my grandad and an acceptation of how time moves on and places move on with it. Nothing lasts forever but it will always be.   

As I progress through the two years of negatives, I have developed my understanding of the printing, working through it in chronological order, learning a little bit each time I came to lakeside. Something I know he would have loved to listen to me talk about, as with everything. And with every print I do, I remember fondly his kindness and his patience for everything, big or small.